This is not my usual offering when it comes to Miss Sue Flay and nor will it usually be – I promise, once it’s out of my system, we can go back to hotels, spas and delicious afternoon teas!
I never thought, in the past 11 years of my life that I’d be writing a blog post on how to get over a breakup. When first editing this post back in the summer, I was typing through tears & snotty tissues the day after my breakup and although I was upset (naturally), I wasn’t expecting what happened next to help me so easily or quickly. I can only laugh today, but it wasn’t funny at the time.
Thank goodness for awesome friends.
At times like these, you start to learn who your real friends are, as we all know. The people who have appeared in my life over the last few years have come and gone, some have stuck around, new friends will appear in the future. If it wasn’t for my blog, my alter ego, even my business, then my confidence wouldn’t have helped me to meet such amazing people or to get through such a blow to my confidence.
I’ll spare the gory details, but I wasn’t expecting to come home one Friday night to send my long term partner packing. End of story, it doesn’t deserve the attention.
Plans had already been made for the next day for me to head down to London, meet some blogging friends for drinks & blogging-themed shenanigans, before heading to an invitation-only bloggers event in an exclusive venue within the city.
It felt like the very last place I wanted to be, opting for my bed and texting my friends to explain I wouldn’t be there that morning.
What happened, however, is that I woke up the next day and couldn’t breathe through tears & mugs of Luke warm tea, realising I had two choices.
One. Sit there in my pyjamas and continue to sob
into a full glass of gin onto my poor dog, who looked so worried for me he didn’t leave my side for one moment (bless his heart!) OR…
Two. Get dressed. Pull myself together and not let this douche pants ruin one more minute of my life.
I opted for two… albeit through awkward bursts of silent tears & a wobbling bottom lip on a packed train, making the man sat next to me look too freaked out to know what to do to help me – haha amusing thinking back and sorry whoever you were!
I met up with the gorgeous Cassy Fry and Lisa Haigh as originally planned, we hugged, took silly selfies, drank coffee, meandered around the South Bank practising our photography and lazily made our way through the City to the stylish venue for an afternoon of good food, networking and free cocktails. It was the best pick-me-up in the world, I’m so pleased that I went, even if every bone in my body wanted to stay home to mope.
Looking back, I cannot thank these two ladies enough, they listened to my rants and tears, told me I’d find somebody a million times better one day (even if I thought they were being ridiculous at the time) and helped me through how to look after myself short term – as petrified as I was at the thought of being an independent woman (don’t shoot me for saying that, it’s true!) within an exciting world that I’ve paved for myself. I spent the day talking through what I wanted from my own life and how I was going to achieve it. This isn’t something I’ve ever considered in complete truth, I’ve simply coasted and gone with the flow.
Making a positive plan in my head, nobody in it but myself, I can honestly state that this was the BEST day of my life – not that it felt like it at the time. I was gearing up to be the happiest, strongest, most positive version of myself I’ve ever been and I can truthfully say today, blurting out this blog post, that I am now all of those and much more besides. It took a little time to put my plan into action, but I managed with the support of my family & friends.
I originally penned this post on the teary train journey home after the bloggers’ event and it had a very different spin on how to get over a breakup haha – it was rather negative and shouty of course and it’s why I’ve held off posting anything about this day until now.
My best advice for anybody dealing with something similar?
Cry, shout, get it all out. Do it fast. Then just get on with it.
It sounds like the easiest thing in the world and I’m telling you now, it’s not. It’s really bloody hard, but it’s the best thing you can do if you’re really hurting or leaving a long term relationship.
These girls back in London were more than right, no matter how hard it was to listen at the time, taking that first step to jump on the train and carry on with my plans that day made me the STRONGEST I’ve ever ever been.
This post should be about the event itself, however if I’m completely honest, it was a total blur for me. I do know that Scarlett was just such a gorgeous & welcoming host, the beauty & fashion bloggers in that stunning room were much more welcoming to a food lover like myself than I initially thought they would be (I’m not a girly girl, so didn’t think I would fit in, silly girl that I am!), the view was one of London I’ve never enjoyed so much before and the freebies were simply fabulous – I’m still using my Lee Stafford styling brush & hair oils today!
Cassy also won a makeover that day and she looked BEAUTIFUL, so it was fantastic to watch her being made to feel confident in her new clothes as we tucked into Sweet Pizza pieces (Brownie “pizza” slices with salted caramel sauce… erm yum)!
The venue was in fact the Paramount events space at Centre Point, which features a wrap around bar and 360 degree views of our Capital, it’s a very modern venue with a great space for an event of any size. It’s on level 33 of this central venue, so it takes you sky high to escape the bustle of the streets below, just amazing and I’m glad to have attended just to experience the wonderful view.
What really stands out for me from this event was just how terrible I felt in myself, I was in shock from the previous days’ events, functioning on zero calories (other than the Sweet Pizza & cocktails, ahem), continuing to do so for many days after.
But, if I hadn’t taken that quick step, I know I would have stayed home feeling sorry for myself for weeks, perhaps even months.
What’s happened since that event?
Well, what HASN’T happened?!
I’ve rediscovered the things that I love, rather than a collective “we”, I’ve reviewed some stunning venues such as a spa in St Tropez or a Penthouse Suite in Leeds. I’ve attended a special afternoon tea event with Bettys of Harrogate, visited press events in London for even more afternoon tea geekery and I even signed a contract with Hotpoint (and had the time of my life delivering the service!) at the BBC Good Food show most recently. I got to meet some talented chefs, working alongside them in the Hotpoint demo kitchens and got stuck into some very exciting client plans over at Stir Up Media as a result.
But, most importantly, I’ve made amazing new contacts & friends, reconnected with existing and old friends, got back into my fitness routine with my amazing personal trainer and have even put myself out there on the dating scene (first time since my early 20’s, gulp!) and I’ve even met somebody new who treats me amazingly & who I really quite like.. perhaps that’s an understatement, we shall see how it goes ; )
Thank you hugely to ReeRee Rockette for your advice on how to get my head around the minefield of being single in your 30’s haha.
I also treated myself recently to a dose of “Radical Self Love” emails from Gala Darling to perk me up every day and give me an email to look forward to waking up to every day.
And a massive thank you to Scarlett for inviting me to this event, it did more for me than you’ll EVER know!
If it wasn’t for the world of blogging, my world would be really very dull indeed. Here, I’d like to provide you, my lovely readers, with a few links to just some of the inspiring people I met at the #BloggersFestival this summer, where I’m sure their blog roundups of the event will do it much more justice than I can on reflection:
Here’s to a very exciting 2015, I am so thankful to everyone who has inspired and supported me throughout 2014.
I have HUGE blogging plans for next year, so I’m hoping that I’ll be able to help restore some awesomeness through these new adventures… Watch this space, follow me on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter and hopefully you can get involved too!
If you’d like to know more about my new blogging events or get involved somehow, do drop me a line to chat further, I’d love to hear from you!
Your an amazing head strong women and a success and an inspiration,, I’m not really a reader but this had me drawn in you should be proud Joanne
Great post. Things happen to us for a reason. Although they seem terrible at the time, they’re all part of our journey in life. This is coming from me… a divorced woman from Canada whose journey unexpectedly took me to England where I am happily settled with husband No. 2 🙂
Pleasure to meet you, hope you have a fantastic 2015!
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